it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
