So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you didnt know i had herpes?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
