I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
They have beer where we have blood.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
