dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
its not stalking. its research.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
