Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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