3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
