halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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