ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
