Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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