in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
