We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize