Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
