Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
