just tell him i said nine months
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
