hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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