i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
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Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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