I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize