ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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