you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
