i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
