I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
