I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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