This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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