one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Randomize
