Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
