The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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