yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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