Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
