Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There r osticjed everywhere
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
