I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
