I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
