It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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