Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
