So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
