im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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