omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
