Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
