why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
