Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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