You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
