you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
