there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
