I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Who died my cat blue again?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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