She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
