he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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