I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
