talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
