I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
