i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
