Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
