i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
