I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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