no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
