I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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