ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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