my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.