the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me