No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends