is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
