I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
