Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
