i just wanna soil my oats bro
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
dude. I can hear the air.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
