I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
