She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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