Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
